It is amazing how much easier things seem to flow when one can pinpoint what it is they want, and how they plan to create their desires into reality.

One secret to turning your desires into reality is to identify the steps needed to achieve your desire.  Once you can determine what your long and short-term goals are in relation to what it is you want to achieve, you will then have a great starting point to move your desire towards creation.

After you pinpoint what your goals are, you then need to build a plan of action to begin moving them forward towards achievement. Your thought should be on visualizing success of your desire and also creating a realistic plan that incorporates action in a positive way with a clear set of goals.

Remember to check in with yourself each week to see how things are moving along.  If something seems not to be working, look at ways you can reverse that to become something that does work, or look for ways you can make little tweaks and changes so that things begin to move in the direction you wish them to.

Be mindful of not being afraid of failure, as Bo Bennet said, “Focus on succeeding rather than not failing”.  Think about it, it makes sense.  Take the pressure off yourself, and enjoy the process, both the good and the not so good.  Think of your end result as success.

It is very important to be in the moment and to not procrastinate.  Procrastinating robs us of our energy and of successful results.   Write down your goals, make sure you take action in a positive way everyday and focus on the desired end result.

Do not fall into the trap of holding things off to another day, or waiting to move forward because not everything is in the order, or way you would like.  STOP WAITING for things to be perfect, or for things to be in a certain way before you can move onto other things in life that you want.  Your life is now, so begin to create everything that you want. Create a full life at this moment, do not put off living until the time you feel everything is in order or perfect, that is just putting a major hold on creating and enjoying a full interesting life.

Take the time to tap into your talent and skills, to look at your wants and your needs, to determine how you want to live your life and last but not least, what steps you need to take now to move towards the direction of achieving and living a full happy life with both up’s and down’s, failures and success, trial and error.  All of this is what makes life interesting, challenging and worthwhile.  Enjoy, live settle for nothing less then your best life!!

21 quick and practical strategies to make your confidence soar

1. Think about someone you admire, what is it about them that you like?   Take cues from the people who you think are great.  You are great also.  Nothing is stopping you from modeling mannerisms of people you admire, they my have done the same thing with someone whom they admire.  Create your own unique being, and incorporate all that you love from the people who you look up to, along with your own many special qualities

2. Smile a lot more. That doesn’t mean putting a silly grin on your face! But smile when you walk down the street, when you meet people and generally be happier even if you’re not feeling that way.

3. Learn from mistakes of the past; Think of them as a gift, and let them go.  You can feel bad about how you handled a past situation, or how one turned out. But in order to gain from it, you must learn from it, and then release it.  Don’t hang on and try to change something that is no longer in existence, instead learn from it and move on.

4. Try something new, something you always wanted to try before. Buy yourself some new clothes, do your hair differently, treat yourself to something new. It will make you feel better and will give your ego a boost.

5. Are you basically prepared for daily, new and immediate situations that cross your path?  Are you confident enough to meet any challenge that may present itself to you? Are you prepared for that meeting, that presentation, that job interview, when you meet someone for the first time?   If you feel you are not prepared, get to it ASAP. Work out a plan for being confident when situations quickly come before you.

6. If you are not happy about, or do not agree with a decision someone else made, which also affects you, such as a break-up. Be happy with the fact that you do have control over how you handle that situation from your end of the table.  Know that you can rise above the sadness, and instill confidence and a success mindset for yourself to get through this trying time with nothing less then overcoming the sadness, and moving on into your own power of happiness.

7. Play to your strengths. Know what you are good at and expose yourself to these opportunities, because you’re good at it, you’ll enjoy it and have more confidence.

8. Improve your weaknesses. Know and appreciate what these are and put a plan into action to improve them over time.

9. It is ok to say no to people. If you cannot do something that is asked of you, or you simply do not want to, or just do not have the time, you can say no. Don’t be afraid, you’ve got nothing to be afraid of.  They will most likely understand. You cannot always overextend yourself, if it goes against what you really want to do.

10. Be positive. Look on the “ I can do” side of things rather than the “I can’t do”. You’ve accomplished lots in your life and you will accomplish lots more in the future.

11. Be in charge of your thoughts at all times. What is a thought? It’s just a question that you’ve asked yourself and the thought is you’re answer. If you’re thinking negative thoughts, you’re probably asking a negative question. Change the questions to be more positive.

12. Whenever you feel a negative thought coming, STOP, THINK, and say is this really the only outcome that can happen?  If so, then turn the negative into a positive by seeing what good the situation will bring with it.  If there is more then one outcome, which nine out of ten times there is, then toss the negative and focus on the positive outcome.

13. Do you let the words of others affect you? Do you mind what they think of you? Remember that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. It’s  not what they say to you that matter’s, it’s what you say to yourself after they have stopped talking. Change the way you think, to acknowledge that only you have the power to choose how you feel and think about yourself.

14. List the words that you use on a consistent basis when you feel let down or annoyed. People use different words to mean the same thing and depending upon the intensity of the word – this will have an effect on your confidence. Instead of saying “I’m enraged about this” say, “I’m a little annoyed”. Make a substitute list for the words that you use. Make sure they are lower in intensity and then use them. You’ll be surprised with the results.

15. At the end of each day list your achievements and successes throughout that day.  Celebrate your reaching your goals no matter how big or small.
    
16. Be appreciative of what you have to be thankful for in your life right now. Fill yourself with gratitude for all that you have at this moment.

17. Every morning when you wake-up, prepare yourself for an excellent day. Go over in your head the day’s events as though they have already happened and that they were a success. Visualize all of the encounters you had, the people you talked to, the outcomes you had. Visualize success and confidence and it will be so.

18. Improve your body language. The way that you move your body has a massive impact on your confidence levels. Move your body assertively and walk with your head up, shoulders back and as though you’ve got somewhere very important to go. If you are feeling low in confidence at the moment, visualize an empowering moment, and walk in that fashion. Change you body language to reflect success.

19. Emotion is created by motion; make sure you move around consistently. Create energizing moments and get the blood pumping around your body – it makes you feel better and more confident.

20. Learn to brag about yourself. Yes, you heard me! Talk about your achievements and successes more than you currently are.

21. And finally – You only live once, so any time that you are down just ask yourself in 10 or 20 years time – will what I am down about now and worrying about really matter?

By Lori Snyder

“Sometimes the situation is only a problem because it is looked at in a certain way. Looked at in another way, the right course of action may be so obvious that the problem no longer exists.”
Edward de Bono

I have always found it fascinating discovering new things, or figuring out new ways of handling a situation that was not working, or trying something new to solve an old problem that kept repeating itself.

It is amazing what we can come up with when we are open to letting new ideas and thoughts enter our space.  It is also a great gift to recognize that there is something new to discover everyday and if we are aware of that, it can only enhance our life and our well-being.

The choice to become more open to your inner self and to you intuition would be a wise one.   When we take the time to quiet our minds and listen to our inner voice we can be more and more delightfully surprised at the solutions to problems we already have, if we only take the time to tap into our thoughts.

It is also wonderful to learn a new way of doing something, or to learn a new skill or think creatively to think of more ways then one to achieve a certain goal.

And we should all receive the gift of seeing something beautiful for the first time.  The joy of your significant other’s face after achieving something they wanted to achieve, the smile on a child’s face after they got that double scoop of ice cream, or the joyful contentment after sharing something new with people who are important and special in your life.  Or last but not least, both you and your partner discovering together the solution to a problem that has been putting a damper on your relationship.

The point is simple, be open to new ways and new solutions to solving your existing problems.  If you cannot think of solutions, brainstorm with someone and come up with new solutions, then put them into action and see how it goes.  If it works great, if it does not, then go to solution number two, continue until the problem is solved.

Also it is important to realize that being open to doing new things is very good for adding spunk into your life.  To stick with the same routine over and over again leaves no room to enjoy and explore something that you may like, such as a new restaurant, or reading a different type of book then you usually do and loving it, or trying new foods you never tasted before, only to discover it is something that tastes really good. All of this and a lot more can be a great way to naturally add more excitement to your life.

Be open to the new this week and see what enters your life that you are absolutely ecstatic about.  Also explore the many ways to solve any problem that you may have. Without the willingness to experiment, to discover new ways to solve problems, or to overcome a challenge, we could not grow into our best selves.

When we try something and fail, it helps empower us to become creative and look for new ways of achieving our goal, or to think of a better way to make something we care about work.  Always be positive and creative, know that you can discover many ways of solving a problem.

Also remember to take the time to tap into your intuition and to look around you at all the beautiful amazing gifts that are in this world for your eyes to see.

© 2010 Lori Snyder

Simply 7 tips for 7 days of Positive Creation

Self-nurturing means, above all, making a commitment to self-compassion, to the creation of a loving and positive attitude toward yourself.

Jennifer Louden

It is so inspiring and energizing to try new ways of doing things.  Adding something to your life that you have never done before can be exhilarating. Now maybe many of you have done something similar to what this article is about, and that is great, if it worked for you and was productive, do it again.

So, what am I talking about?  This article is all about simplicity and implementing an easy strategy or thought process into your daily schedule for 7 days.

You can do this each week with the same or different positive tips until they become a daily way of being.  You can also create your own daily tips of improvement on things that you would like to incorporate or improve upon in your life.

This simple strategy works wonders in a very easy and creative way, as well as continuously bringing forward all the best ideas, thoughts and wants that you would like in your life.  It also gives you a daily platform to take action with each one.

Positive Creation Tip 1—Turn off the negative chatterbox…

In all of us there are times during each day when something negative may enter our space.  It could be a negative person, a negative thought, etc.  When this happens throughout your week, be aware of, and make an immediate effort to switch to a positive mindset.

Make a conscious effort to wipeout the obstacles that may come your way, instead of keeping the focus on limitations and things that are not working the way you would like at that moment, focus instead on all that is working and what you can do to change things that are not working the way you would like.

Positive Creation Tip 2—Be aware of the words in your vocabulary…

Think happy, empowering words.  Instead of using I can’t or I am not that lucky, become aware, and start changing the downer words you may be using on a daily basis that do nothing to empower you, but instead keep you in a negative atmosphere with no good coming from it.

Make it a habit to use uplifting, inspiring words in your daily vocabulary.  If you are thinking I can’t do that, instead change that thought to I can do this, etc.   It is not that difficult to begin adding positive thoughts into your daily mindset.

Positive Creation Tip 3—Make requests without the fluff…

Many times we are to afraid to state what we want in a clear way, and so we may unintentionally manipulate, or dance around what we really want to say, we may even give hints expecting the other person to be a mind-reader.

Be clear, don’t feel intimidated to state what you want, the other person can only say yes or no, and if it is no, at least you will have clear communication, as well as harmony with each other.

Positive Creation tip 4—Love your body…

Sometimes when you are so busy running around, you may neglect taking care of your physical self without realizing it.  Take the time this week to be aware of what kind of nourishment you are giving your body.

Be mindful of how you are treating your body.  Are you exercising?  Appreciating the beauty of your body?  Are you caring, and in tune with what your body needs?  Tap into your inner self, and explore the needs of your amazing body.

Power Creation Tip 5—Be open to learning…

Simply make it a point to learn something new this week.

Power Creation Tip 6—Be open to using the powerful tool of your intuition…

Everyone has the ability to tap into his or her intuition and inner instincts.  If you take time during the week to quiet your mind and tune into your inner self, you will be able to clear out the chatter long enough to allow your thoughts, intuition and instincts to come forth.  This will help you to tap into new solutions, new innovative ideas, as well as help you to meet your personal and business goals.

Power Creation Tip 7—Get rid of the clutter, balance your home and office…

Have you ever noticed if you have piles of papers, or are disorganized in any area of your home or office, you basically feel off balanced?

This is obviously because these things represent bad Feng Shui.  When you walk into these areas of your life space, you should be feeling positive energy and happiness, if you don’t then something is not quite right.

Take a good look at what each area looks like; is anything broken, dusty, out of place or just not looking like it belongs?  If so begin to clear the space of anything that looks unwanted and replace with energizing life-offering things, such as beautiful plants, pictures, organizers to keep all your things in the proper place.  Bring in warm colors, and energizing things that make you happy.  Create wholeness in your space that you love.

So there you have it, your first set of power creation tips.  The best way to use this tool is to pick a day of the week you would like to start.  You can choose any day of the week and follow through for 7 days.

On day one simply take a look at tip 1 and begin to implement it throughout your day.  On day 2 you can implement both tips 1 and 2 and so forth.

Be creative, you do not have to follow my order of creation tips, you can choose which day you will begin which tip, you can also add or change a tip to one that you want to start implementing right away.  It is your call; this is your power creation plan to follow as you decide.

Wishing you the power to integrate the creations that you want in your life!

© Lori Snyder 2009

“The distance is nothing; it’s only the first step that is difficult.” Marquise du Deffand

As the New Year quickly approaches us, it is so cool to recognize how we all get to have two New Year’s in one year.  The first obviously is when we will all celebrate 2010, and the second is of course our birthday.

This is a great time to take a moment and reflect on 2009.  What went well for you?  What goals did you set? Which ones did you meet?  What did you learn this year? What would you do differently?

I can go on and on, but my advice is to make your own personal list of questions, so you can have a clear written tool in front of you to see what you would like to do in the coming year and what changes or additions you would like to add so that you can take meaningful steps towards creating what you want in your life.

No repetitive New Year’s resolution’s that nine out of ten times is forgotten before it is even seriously considered and put into action.

Think about it, how many times did you start the New Year making a statement of something you were going to do, and how many times did you follow through with it?

Make this year different, do not do the same thing and get the same result.  Don’t make a New Year’s resolution this year if you never follow through with it; instead create a plan of action to put into motion.

Write down specific goals you would like to achieve, and give each a time frame.  Of course you can tweak and change as time goes by if need be.  But stay focused on achieving what you write down on paper.  Try to achieve the smallest goals first, and work your way up to the larger ones.

Also it is better to NOT write down tons of goals and start none of them.  Instead begin with a few goals, and when you achieve them, move on to create your next set.

Some may take much longer then other’s, so use your judgment as to how you are going to create a plan of constructive action that works for you.

You can start and finish a small goal, while you are working on a larger goal that is going to take more time.  Allow a certain amount of time each week to look at your goals to see if anything needs to be changed, done differently, etc.  In this way you are always on top of your goals, as well as always being creative in getting them done, changing them and achieving them.

Remember the most important thing is to first write them down, and second to stay focused and check-in with how you are doing each week until they are all achieved one by one.

©2009 Lori Snyder

“I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.”
–Lucile Ball, 1911-1989, Comedienne and Actress

We all heard the saying a million times before—“When you take care of yourself first, you will then be better able to take care of, and give your best to the people you care most about”.  How many of us follow this prescription?

For me, I am now becoming more conscious of this wonderful truth.  I was always so busy worrying about everyone else’s needs first, that I put my needs and thoughts to the sideline.  After careful evaluation one day, I realized that this was doing no one any good, because after I looked after what everyone else wanted from me, I was to limited on time, energy, etc to take care of my needs.

That in turn made it difficult to get what I needed to get done for me.   As you can guess, I felt short-changed by no one other then myself.  And to boot, because I was not feeling like number one to me, I was in turn not giving my best to everyone else.

So what can you do to turn this scenario around, and start taking care of your needs first?   To begin, look at the list below.

1-Start each day filled with gratitude for all that you are, and all that you are capable of doing.  Appreciate the beauty all around you.

2-Count your blessings for the people who you love and who love you.  Be gracious for everyone that enters your life.  They all come, and some go for a reason.  The lesson learned with each is a wonderful gift.

3-Try to take time each day in a moment of silence for yourself to meditate, and think about what your needs of the day are, and what you would like to accomplish.

4-Be mindful of your health, and take care to incorporate a wellness schedule into your week.  Exercise, eat healthy, get enough rest, do things that make you feel good and empowered.  Do not skimp on your needs.

5-Look at your goals sheet quickly each week, and evaluate how you are doing with them.  Do any need changing? Re-tweaking?  If they do, get to it.  If you do not have a goals sheet, get writing.

6-Learn new things, research something you have always been interested in.  Read a good book about the subject you want to learn more about.  Discovery of something new helps you to grow and feel more alive.  Do not limit yourself.  So go ahead and learn something new and interesting, and talk about it with your loved ones, it will enlighten them as well.

7-Take the time to give loved ones and friends, a squeezing hug.  A good hug coming from a real place makes everyone feel special and great.

8-Come from a positive mindset, and if negative thoughts creep in, shift it to the positive.  This will help you to create a happier state of being, which in turn will help you to be more productive in what you would like to accomplish.

9- Take time to play.  This can be any hobby or activity that you truly enjoy.  Go out and capture moments of joy!

10-Do not be afraid to say no to someone.  If you are asked to do something you do not really want to do, or do not have time to do, explain that and say no.  Do not over-extend yourself if it does not resonate with you.  If you say yes, when you really want to say no, it will only cause you to feel pressure and anger toward the person asking. Tell them you still care about their needs, it is just that you cannot do what they ask of you at this time.  You can choose to state your reasons for your decision or not.

11-Cherish and value the ones you love.  They are a gift to share your life with.

So there you have it, all the reasons why it is important to take care of yourself first.  Do not think you are selfish if you take care of your needs first, the opposite is actually true.  If your needs are met, you will be in much better spiritual, mental and physical shape to be there for all the people in your life who are important to you.  And you will be in a much happier frame of mind to want to support them with their needs.

It is wonderful to know that in this vast world, we all have special people in our lives, and of course we all want to be there for each other to express our needs, wants, disappointments, and of course all of our accomplishments. Feel empowered to know that you can give your best to everyone you love, when you take care of yourself first.

©2009 Lori Snyder

www.coachlorisnyder

There’s one sad truth in life I’ve found while journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know we please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow to those who love us best.
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Many times we may take for granted the person who is most close to us, our intimate partner. We treat colleague’s employees, friend’s, and acquaintances with all due respect, and sometimes take for granted the person who is most caring of our heart, and our well-being.

Many times this is not done intentionally; it is just that one tends to feel most relaxed and comfortable with their partner, that they feel safe letting their guard down. That is fabulous, it is only when you start becoming lazy with the needs of nurturing the relationship, and you start taking advantage of the other’s kindness and caring that you may run into trouble. When you stop hearing and caring about your partner’s needs and wants, trouble can then begin to surface.

It is easy for this to happen, as life can get very busy, and it is often those closest to us that feel it the most, they are also most likely short-changed when we are pressed or rushed with work-related chores, or other things that may be taking our time. Also, if one partner is going through a change of routine, or a change of life situations, it is easy for a lack of communication and disagreements to begin surfacing in the relationship.

If you don’t nib these issues in the bud early on, resentment then begins to grow, and it escalates into a very unhappy existence between the two, who in the past had the capacity to grow a very strong, loving, empowering connection. One that would help each of you to become power partner’s together and separately, one that would nurture, care and create a lasting relationship based on the foundation of love, trust and deep caring for the other person’s happiness and success in life.

Working together is extremely important in order for your relationship to deepen and grow. If you work with your partner when each of you are in your separate life transitions and change and grow together, while always keeping the trust, and the doors of communication open, you will then help the relationship develop into the strong one it has the potential to become.

The problem is, that most of the time in the mist of our busyness, we forget to nurture and care for the relationship, as well as push it’s needs aside. By the time we are aware of the damage done, it may be to late.

So what steps can you take to prevent this from happening? Or, possibly reversing the damage, if the relationship was strong enough. The easiest and simplest way, is to always remember to not take your relationship for granted. With that being said, let’s look at some other steps that can help.

1)Love–Always remember that love is not enough to keep a relationship strong, and moving full stream ahead. It takes connection and caring for a thriving relationship.

2)Respect–You need to have respect for your partner. You need to hear what they say. You do not always have to agree, but you do need to respect their thoughts, ideas and viewpoints. You cannot change anyone, nor should you want to. It will not work if that is the case.

3)Trust–This is most important. There needs to be a basic foundation of trust towards each other in order to feel comfortable showing your true colors, as well as expressing what needs to be expressed. You should not have to worry that they will leave if they don’t agree with something. If something needs to be addressed and worked out in the relationship, you should feel comfortable with having the knowledge and a level of trust with your partner, that if anything is ever really wrong in the relationship, you have an agreement with your partner that they will come to you to express it, not to other’s. It is important to know that any major decisions about the wellbeing, or not, of your union will be made together, just as the relationship was started together. You will want to know that your partner respects and cares for you enough to make all-important decisions about the relationship with you, not behind your back. Sometimes one partner may seeks advice, comfort, etc in someone outside the relationship, unfortunately this harms the relationship, as the other person is not in the relationship, and cannot possibly know all the intimacies, issues, etc in it.

4)Communication—What can I say, this is a given. You cannot possibly have a healthy relationship without good, open and honest communication from both sides. This also means hearing and caring about what your partner is saying, and if you don’t agree with it, you work on a solution together, you don’t leave the conversation forever without making any changes to the issue of disagreement that was at hand. Sometimes one partner may say, let’s talk about this time, yes you can, if you both really set a time and talk about it and then work towards a solution. If a partner says this to move away from the issue, without really wanting to come to a workable, or at least an agreement, it can be very harmful to the relationship. You simply cannot survive if one partner does not care to work on an issue at hand that is causing stress in the relationship. You don’t have to agree to do something you don’t want to, but you cannot skirt around an issue, and never come to an agreement. If you do this, you are only setting the relationship up for failure.

5)Adaptability- Hey, life and people constantly change. You need to change both together and separately, while having the power to keep your togetherness strong and thriving.

6)Strength- You need to be able to grow and face the fears and challenges and roadblocks that come into any relationship from time to time. Have the courage and faith and love to get through things together, it can only make you stronger. I am not talking here of something that is a major threat to your life, however no relationship runs smooth forever. It is important to have the foundation to get through the tough times together that is what makes the relationship something to cherish.

7)Time- take the time no matter how busy each of you are to connect to each other, share your joy and share your worry. That is one of the best things about being in a healthy relationship; you always have your partner, who you love, trust and can share things with. Hopefully someone that will not judge just be there for you when you need him or her to be. Or if they do sometimes judge, they are aware that, that is what they are doing, and they let it go and focus on all the good things they love about you.

So there you have it. An outline to honor your intimate relationship. Tweak it to your liking, add your needs, values and what is most important to you, and begin incorporating it into your relationship. Remember this close relationship is a precious gift to both people involved, and sometimes all the other clutter in our lives makes one overlook this. Don’t overlook it, it is too important to overlook if you really cherish it.

©2009 Lori Snyder

www.coachlorisnyder

We all know that to change and grow, to have an open mind and be flexible with the daily and not so-daily changes in our life is a must in order to flourish, however there is one area where, when we expect change, it is an absolute recipe for disaster.

You may be able to already guess which area it is I am talking about, if not, it is the area of relationships, not just intimate, but any relationship you have with any person.

You see, in order to be at your happiest and most productive, you cannot have the pressure or expectation of thinking that someone will change to fit what your needs are. If there are differences between you and someone you care about, you both must value each other enough to be willing to work together and create a change, compromise that would work for both of you. You cannot force change, or try to nag someone into it. They have to care enough to be willing to hear you out, even if they do not agree, and both of you would need to come up with a solution to the problem, if not it will continue to escalate till it totally breaks down. You should have the attitude and knowing that you can only change yourself, and if someone that you are involved with simply cannot make certain changes/compromises, and you are not willing to accept and work with those differences, then it is best not to become deeply involved in your union together.

If it is a short-term encounter, that is fine, they’re differences will not matter much to you, you will work with them on the task that brought you together, and then be on your way. If however, this is a person you are considering to become a part of you personal life, such as an intimate partner, you would need to know that your best chances of the relationship succeeding, is to not expect to change or mold that person into something they are not. You need to know right from the start that you are willing to accept them just as they are, and that you both are able to work together to grow the relationship in a positive direction, and that you both agree that your differences are okay and workable within the relationship.

If the relationship is one in which we are talking about a relative, it is best to acknowledge that you do not have the power to change other’s, and if you do not agree with their actions or choices, you need to accept that fact. Everyone is placed on this earth to be their own person, and to learn and grow in their own way. So, you must have the understanding that you can offer your opinion, but you should not get in a constant battle with them to change to your expectations. It is best to love and accept them for who they are, and who they want to become. You need to let the people you love make their own decisions, you can be there to try to guide and give advice, but if not accepted, you should not hold grudges, or force the issue. Instead, understand where they are coming from, be their friend, love and accept them, let them grow and evolve in their own way. Be there for them to offer your love and support even if you don’t always agree with their choices.

As far as other encounters in your life, such as friends, colleagues and acquaintances, it is wonderful to know that you make all your own choices and decisions about whom to, and how deeply involved to become with any particular person in your circle of life.

I have many different friends, colleagues and associates who are all great, and all of whom I am involved with on a different level. It is great to accept and acknowledge that we will have throughout our lives, encounters with others who we connect with on many different levels. But in order for each connection to serve its greatest purpose, it is best to try not to suffocate it with the energy of trying to change someone. If you are not comfortable with the encounter, simply step away from it if you can. If it is someone whom you will be in contact with, because they may be a relative who you must see at that moment in life, or a co-worker, then you can create changes of your own to be able to encounter with these people in a successful way, a way that works for you. Do not worry about what you don’t like about them, or how they handle things, or their choices in life, instead focus on you, and what you will do and how you will shift in order to make your encounter with these people more pleasant when you do see them.

Don’t try to change, and try not to judge other people who you encounter, and whom you have a relationship with. Learn that we are all here to experience our own choices in their fullest form, and no one can interfere with that. It is only you who can change you, and only you who can decide how to handle situations. What you accept and what you do not accept are all your choices; no one can enter your space and force change in that. Nor should you want to, or try to change another.

When you accept other people who enter your life wholeheartedly without putting demands of change on them, you will see that both of you will then be able to co-create an amazing relationship that leads to both of you feeling very safe and comfortable with each other and you will both be able to build a healthy level of trust and comfort within your relationship. You will begin to experience all the joy, good and happiness these people can bring into your life, and you in turn can bring joy, good and happiness into their lives. It is wonderful when we can simply accept others for who they are, we can then really grow close to them, and appreciate them.

Everyone that enters our life has a special gift of the giving of himself or herself. When we can appreciate that gift and give the same back it empowers us in unbelievable ways. Enjoy all the gifts life has to offer. Make the changes that you want to make for you, don’t worry about changing others, and let them make their own choices in life.

Remember change is good when it is your change, not you trying to force change in others.

© Lori Snyder 2009

We all have times in our lives when we are feeling sad or down about something for one reason or another.  One may walk around feeling totally drained, numb and basically not in tune with the best life has to offer.  This feeling can zap your energy, sabotage your joy and basically make you feel like a walking, stressed out mummy.

So what can one do when they are at a moment in their life where they are starving their soul of living life to the fullest, and of being happy and content in their own skin?

For starters they can become aware of that feeling, wake-up, create courage within, and begin taking the steps towards being pro-active in establishing their best life.

Here are some steps to take to turn your sad feeling into a happy one.

Step one–Feel happy that you are aware of your sad feeling.  This means you are alive, deep down you really do not want to stay the walking mummy you may now feel like, it is not who you really are.

Now that you want to change something you are not happy about, you can begin taking the steps to do so.   Know that this is an inside job it is your choice and no one else’s.  So feel happy that you can get going with this task right now, no need to wait for any one thing, it is all inside you.

You can take action towards changing that sad feeling.  You may not be able to change the situation, but you have the power within you to tackle the feeling, and create a happy one, along with creating things in your life that make you happy.  So feel happy that you are aware of your sad feeling, and take the steps to change that feeling into a happy one.

Step two—Since you are aware you are living in a moment of feeling sad about something and are not happy, you now have the power to choose to live in the moment, and be happy. You are of course allowed to acknowledge your sad feeling, but then let it go.  Do not let it control your essence.

Begin to live in the moment. By living in the moment, you can change those recent negative energy vibrations into happy, energized empowered vibrations.  You can begin to feel happy, and take those not so great energy vibrations and trash them; you can be empowered with the knowledge of knowing that what you send out is what you get back.  So, be aware that the more good energy vibrations you send out, the more you will attract those good energy levels back to you.

Step three—Now, let’s take a look at all the good things you can expect to pop into your life now that you chose to take the steps towards living in the moment.  For starters, you can treasure each moment for the precious moment that it is, and immerse yourself fully in creating the kind of moments you truly want in your life and enjoy them to the fullest extent.

Being in the moment also:

• Helps you to forgive and forget unhappy situations of the past.
• Helps you to not focus and worry about a future that is not here yet.
• Makes you much more confidant to make decisions based on now, not on what would’ve, could’ve, and should’ve been.
• Helps you to bring more passion into your intimate relationship now, without worrying about where you are going together. That moment will come on it’s own.
• Helps you to focus on the steps to take now, at this moment, to ensure you of achieving your goals quicker then you may have thought, because you are taking the steps, at this moment, each day to come a little closer to your wish.
• Being in the moment, gives you the chance to be at peace, and to be content and happy, not when something happens, but NOW.

Step four–Know that the emotional or physical pain you may feel, is good.  This means that you can now start peeling away at those deep layers of what is not working, and make a decision to start coming up with a better solution to your situation.  Make it start working towards your happiness, not against it.  Research, dig deep into your soul, meditate, and educate yourself to learn what you need to in order to change a situation.  Become focused, determined and strong to strive for the outcome you want.  Do not settle for anything less, you are too special.

Step five—Now that you are aware that you may not have been enjoying your journey to it’s fullest, wake-up and smell the roses.   When you stop taking for granted all that is around you, and begin to notice and appreciate it, your whole world opens up to beauty and love.

Start taking notice of an amazing rainstorm, a wonderful sunset, a beautiful baby laughing or crying, all the amazing different opportunities and variety in this world, great sex, empowering music, people we love, our family and our friends, etc. There is so much we have to be grateful for; I can’t even begin to touch the surface of it.  But notice it, be aware of it and appreciate it.

So there you have it.  Five reason to be happy you WERE sad, now you are on a different path one that leads towards your being happy.  Enjoy the journey, enjoy the change.  Begin now to only look for the silver lining.

© 2009 Lori Snyder

www.coachlorisnyder.com

The phoenix is known as a mythical bird with layers of very beautiful colorful feathers, and a tail of gold and scarlet.   It has a life cycle of around 500 to 1000 years, near the end of that cycle, it is said that the phoenix builds and creates itself a nest made of twigs that ignites; the bird and its nest are said to burn to ashes, and then the phoenix rises reborn and fresh, to live again. The new phoenix can live as long, or longer then its old self.  The tears of the phoenix are thought to contain amazing healing abilities of everything that is pure, and the cry of the phoenix is a beautiful song.

What are you crying out for?  It is very wise to look deep into yourself every once in awhile, and see how your needs are being met.  You have absolute responsibility to yourself to create a life that is nothing less then wonderful, enriching and enlightening for yourself, and for those you love, and who share this space with you in this amazing world.

In our everyday busy life, we sometimes tend to push our needs aside and not focus on them half as much as we should be.  Once you realize that the more you focus on your wants and needs, the more productive and happy, aware and strong you will be for yourself and for those around you.   That in turn will help all your relationships to flourish to its healthiest level of well-being.

Like the phoenix, I recently embarked on re-inventing some of the things I wanted to change in my life, and I also lost something I valued very much.   I began looking at everything in my life, and I also started making some changes in my personality that I wanted to shift.  It is great to learn from your mistakes, it is even better to incorporate those things you learn, and integrate them into your life, so you do not make those mistakes again.  That is why it is so wonderful to understand that we all have the power within us to change, grow, empower ourselves, and continuously nourish our hearts and soul.

Change is constant, and we have all the power within us to create the change we want.  We also have the choice of changing and growing with those around us who we love and value, or if need be, to let go of relationships that did not work with us to help each to inspire to their greatest level of wellness.

I am all about staying power in relationships, and working out issues that need to be dealt with, but when you are the only one caring and doing, you need to look at why you would settle for being treated and accepting such a thing.  You deserve the best, and until you feel that, and settle for nothing less, you will not get it.  Some things we do not have the power to shift, but you do have the power to shift your choices, decisions, and the way you let other people treat you.  Value yourself, and other people will then begin to value you as well.

So, what can one do to begin making shifts towards wellness?  I think one of the best ways is to first take time each week to get in touch with your inner self.  This can best be done in any type of activity that relaxes you, and gives you quiet time for yourself.  That may be to exercise, do yoga, meditate, take a walk, read a book, anything that helps you to relax.  Focus on looking within; question where you are now, and where you would like to be.   Are you happy in all your important relationships?  Are your needs being met?   Do any changes need to be made, issues to be talked about?  Are you happy with your career?  And, are you comfortable with your way of living?  Answering all these questions is important to begin getting a good hold on where you stand, and if you are happy in that standing.  If not, what changes can you start to make?  Don’t lie to yourself, take a good look, and have the guts to face what you are not happy with, and what you want to change.  Don’t push it to the back of your mind, and forget about it, deal with it.  Also know that you do not have to sacrifice something you love and cherish for something else, you can, and should have all that you want.

Be appreciative of who you are now, and of all the people around you who you love, and who love you.  Be gracious of all the good in your life, and think of ways you can help better someone else’s life.  Thanksgiving is coming, I have been donating what I can, and buying extra cans of food in the supermarket to give to those that need it.  What are you doing to help other people?

Be strong, regal and beautiful on the inside and out, and begin singing your song of acceptance, and pure love for who you are now, and who you want to be.  Come from a place of strength, and begin to reach for all that you want.  Spread your colorful feathers and sing your song.  Dig deep in your soul and soar like the phoenix to create rebirth.  Have the faith to know that you can create the change you want.

www.coachlorisnyder.com

© 2009 Lori Snyder